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Tell me about them in the comments section.
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem:
the captain’s parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show. “Look, it’s not the same hat!” or “Look, he’s hiding the flowers
under the table!” or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”
The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything. It was, after all, the captain’s parrot. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship
unfortunately sank, Drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea with, and as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day… and then 2 days… and then 3 days. Finally on The 4th day, the parrot could hold back no longer and said…… “OK, I give up. Where’s the f ‘ ing ship?”
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let’s find out just how clever you really are….
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?
Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
(scroll down)
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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You’re not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer…..
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Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you’ll get the last question right….
….Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn’t.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
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He just has to open his mouth and ask…
It’s really very simple….
Today’s Featured Humor : -) - - Just How Dumb Are You Quiz
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said “toast”, then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, “bread”, go to question 2.
2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk”. What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk”, please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such ! as “Children’s World”. If you said, “water” then proceed to question three.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said “green bricks”, what the heck are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said “glass”, then go on to question four.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land”?
Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors” then proceed to the next question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree”, you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.
6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, th! ree people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, Read the first line!!!
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much smarter than men…